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Questions and Answers

Bournemouth Echo 05/2000

Name one thing you are sorry you never got round to doing?

Dying

Name five words which describe yourself?

Youthful, Virile, Psychotic, Sunday, Liar

Name the celebrity who most surprised you and why?

Jaques Tati for tennis skills.

What do you always carry with you?

My Penis.

What did you love about your schooldays?

The day after I left school

And what did you hate?

School

What annoys you most about drivers?

Roadrage

What is your favourite supermarket aisle?

Stationery

What is the best place in the World?

The place where I dissolve

What would you put in Room 101?

Zero's best friend

What do you most like about Dorset?

The question mark at the end of bovine dreaming

Which TV or radio soap opera character would you most like to kill off?

The canned laughter operator

What sport do you hate?

Rugger chaps

Where would you least like to spend a holiday?

Los Angeles

Which film character would you most like to be?

Baron Munchausen

What car do you drive?

1978 Holden Gemini

What's the most bizarre thing you've ever eaten?

A live cockroach

What are you currently reading?

I have stopped reading books

What frightens you most?

Loosing touch with my kids

What makes you laugh?

Gas

What's your most irritating habit?

Arrogance

What's the most exciting thing you've ever done in a car?

Rolled it
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