Encounter with Witches as Objects daevid allen part 1 ONCE upon a HORNY MOON I was WOBBLY KNEED and pumped up like a BALOONATIC MAY the GODDESS SWELP ME thus I cried and FLOUNDERED ABOUT looking for a SCRATCHY VELVET PELT to perfume my TAKEN BREATH. BUT THEN - all of a SUDDENLY YIKES and a GHOST! I was AGHAST!! THERE SHE WAS - BACK from my CAVERNOUS PAST like an ECHO in an OSTRICH BELLY. ITS TRUE!! THERE WAS A VERY LONG WAY TO GO to be MEETING MYSELF COMING THE OTHER WAY.... SO WHAT SHOULD I DO? WHAT WOULD YOU DO? 3 OPTIONS (1) Run Randily forward with tattered jockeys collapsing around the ANKLES (2) CATCH A TAXI TO PERI-PLAXI (3) Render MYSELF INVISIBLE but in the eyes of GNOMES well.. I TOOK OPTION NUM. UNO i RAN RANDILY FORWARD... AND SHE RUSHED TOWARDS ME TOO BUT SUCH A GREAT IT WAS THAT I RUSHED TOWARDS HER TOO (repeat) ----------- Teashop ----------- I RUSHED TOWARDS HER TOO (repeat) TIL FINALLY IN EARSHOT I COULD HEAR HER VOICE "Yea O Yo Yo!" I CRIED ENTHUSUASTICALLY TESTACULAR "Where! SRI CAPUCCINO LONGFELLO MY GAGA GURU" she SANG in a WHOLESOKE VICE SO Jamming on the BRAKES i ignored the VERSES | BRIDGE | & CHORUS & STOPPED DED IN MY TRACKS DO NOT GO INCONSEQUENTIAL IN[TO] THIS GOOD LIGHT I cried ON YOUR BACK AND THINK OF FINLAND!! ...well it was worth a TRY... AND GUESS WOT!? IT WORKED --------- Le GOOD witch YONI has not passed by HERE ...YET... I OBSERVED! SO... THROWING MYSELF INTO THE GREYHOUND TERMINAL POSITION I THEN NOTICED SOMETHING QUITE ALARMING she was GETTING LARGER AND LARGER AND LAR BLow me down with the WEATHER if she DID NOT Become a GIANT BAKED BEING. Larger & Larger & Lager & Lager & Lager & Lime I SLOWLY SLIPPED BACK on that FLESH COLOURED SLIME TIL WITH A BUMP & A THUMPIT I CONFRONTED HER ENORMOUSLY HOT BUTTERED CRUMPET which OPENED DELIGHTFULLY WITH A Single PULL of the PUBICK DOORBELL SO INWARDS & UPWARDS WENT I & FOUND MYS ELVES IN AN ENO-ORMOUS CAVERN.... ..IN THE MIDDLE OF WHICH A SINGLE (SOMEWHOT AQUALINE) HUMAN HEAD SWAYED SINUOUSLY ON A LONG SERPENTINE NECK. *staring me in the THIRD EYE it SPOKE: WHAT IS THE SECRET SiGNNN iT SAiD WORDLESSLY. * DO THE SIGN SO PISS PLEESE PISS PASS ON TO THE BLADDER LADDER BUT I MUST HAVE MISSED THIS FOR I CAME TO A BRIDGE OVER THE RIVER QUIM & in the middle of the BRIFDGE -> AN OLD MAN -> TELL ME A STORY. I ASKED and so the STORY BEGAN: IT WAS A DARK & STORMY NIGHT 2 MEN STOOD ON A BRIDGE one MAN said to the Other HAVE A LAGER !! IT WAS THE VOICE of BANANA-ANANDA the GREAT Beer YOGI HYMN-SELVES Throwing my knees pon the PERSIAN DRUG er RUG I ENQUIRED BREATHLESSLY What GREAT WISE DUMN HAVE YOU GOT FOR THESE FOOLS EARS O my Kang Kang GURU? ---- SILENCE ---- AT LENGTH HE ROSE AND GIVING ME THE SECRET SIGN THIS WAS HIS AMCIENT TRUTH: * AN ARGENTINE GAUCHO NAMED BRUNO ONCE SAID THERE IS SOMETHING I DO KNOW A WOMAN IS FINE A COW IS DIVINE BUT A LLAMA IS NUMERO UNO !!!